Think that the new year is a good time to start a new healthy hobby or habit https://www.perspicuoushealth.com/activity-benefits/ or release some less helpful ones that may not be working for you anymore? Yes, it is!
Most new year resolutions, however, become the butt of jokes or seem to peter out in mid-February when the inspiration and motivation wanes. How can you make your resolutions stick?
You CAN change this pattern by dealing with a slightly different part of the mind: the subconscious. It is the deeper part of the mind that usually works under our conscious awareness. It is where our patterns, beliefs and behaviours are held.
While the conscious mind tends to be the “sprinter” of change, the subconscious is the “marathoner”. And when aiming to make lifelong changes for good, getting the longer-lasting subconscious onside can be the difference between another year of the same, or a positive shift towards greater health and happiness.
Here are a few tips that can make your resolutions stick more easily, so you can experience greater success in your goals and dreams.
Note: If you’re reading this and it isn’t the start of a new year, remember: “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is today.” So, today of all days is a great time to start working towards what you want (using these tips to guide you for better success) – no need to wait for the next new year. Get going now!
Last year’s failures only help this year’s successes
Many people believe that their failures suggest that they will fail again in the future. However, what we might see as a flop, can actually give us a wealth of information and insight for the next time. Our experiences show us what not to do again, reveal paths that may not work for us, and inform us of new options we may not have been aware of before we first started trying to make a change.
The subconscious is the storytelling part of the mind, so when we look at our failings as opportunities for learning, that’s what the deeper part of the mind understands and follows those new directions. For example, instead of stopping an exercise regime, a closer (and more compassionate and realistic) way of retelling the story might be this: “Two hours a day at the gym is unsustainable with all the other great things in my life, and when I did I overworked my muscles (not in a good way). I know now that easing in, with a solid 30 minutes of walking (or whatever) is something I can fit into my schedule and really enjoy as I see what my body can do).” Lesson learned.
Get the words going in the direction you want (not what you don’t want)
It is often easier to articulate what we DON’T want – because it is something we are trying to move away from. However, the subconscious mind is the imagining mind and doesn’t “see” negatives. So when we say “I don’t want to be stressed”, the subconscious understands “I want to be stressed”. Instead, we need to find the words that paint a picture of what we DO want rather than what we DON’T want. So feeling “calm, centred and in control” gives the subconscious a much better suggestion to direct our goals and desires.
Need some help? Often we get stuck with the words we don’t want. Using an online thesaurus can give us the opposites or antonyms that we need to construct our positive direction and goals.
Get clear on the benefits
“I want to weigh ___kg/lbs” is certainly a resolution that is shared by a lot of people. However, the subconscious mind likes to benefit from the change it makes, and a number on a scale doesn’t mean much. When you look deeper at what you might get out of a change, the goal tends to be much more compelling. Will you feel more energetic? Sleep better? Fit into old clothes? Live longer for the people you care about? All of these reasons will give greater weight to the changes you want.
And sometimes you might shift your goals as you drill deeper into the real reason for change. Maybe the weight isn’t as important as feeling stronger – then your actions and reasons will shift for even greater success.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is today.”
Lots of baby steps make big steps
The subconscious mind loves repetition, loves repetition. And just like the power of compounding interest, the compounding or repetition of suggestions and actions tend to build our foundation much more strongly for future success. This means that instead of climbing Mount Everest, we might first suggest that we climb off the comfy chair and go for a short walk. A little bit every day is better than a lot… never.
The benefit of constant little “bits” of success, is that we start to think about ourselves differently. Walked a few minutes most days this week? You’re a walker. Our little steps build upon themselves over time and make the bigger steps easier later on. Success breeds success.
It’s the same with the words we tell ourselves. Instead of something “big” like “I am _____ (fit, a singer, [fill in the blank of your big goal])“, we can always suggest an easier to accept “Every day I _____ (celebrate what my body can do, sing with greater strength, [fill in with the little steps you’re doing])”.
Get a support team (even if it’s in your head)
Talk to a friend. Find a partner. Get a professional to help you with the changes you want. Collecting others on your ‘team’ to help you increase the chances of your future success.
Even if you don’t have the network or resources now, you can also “imagine” a supportive force in your life. The subconscious mind can’t tell the difference between imagination and reality, so creating or “pretending” a positive person in your mind can help you reach your goals. Want to get better at golf? As you’re heading off to sleep, imagine how Annika Sorenstam or Tiger Woods would advise you… It’s nice to have a positive and supportive voice in your head to get where you want to go.
Remember, you don’t have to wait until January to set the new and positive direction you’d like your life to go in. Today is the best day to invite your subconscious mind to support you in getting to where you need and want to be in the future.
References
Yerushalmi, E., and Polingher, C. 2006 Guiding Students to Learn from Mistakes. Physical Education, 41(6), pp. 532-538.
Cyr, A., and Anderson, N.D. 2018 Learning from your mistakes: does it matter if you’re out in left foot, I mean field? Memory, 26(9), pp. 1281-1290.
Clear, James. 2018 Atomic habits: tiny changes, remarkable results: an easy & proven way to build good habits & break bad ones. New York. Avery, an imprint of Penguin Random House
Jennifer Norris-Nielsen is Lead Hypnotherapist and Trainer at Grey Matter Network, helping people and businesses work, play, love, live… better, using their own powerful subconscious mind.